Pander and Pamper

My one guilty pleasure, that I
Keep trying (in vain) to forego:
“Italian Sparkling Mineral Water”
From “the mineral-rich channels
Of the Tuscan Apennine Mountains.”

For about a dollar a bottle, could I drink
A more poetic—and pretentious—libation?

Actually, yes.

Redesigned, the label now proclaims precisely:
“Sourced from the Val di Meti Spring
Located in the Western Apennine Mountains.”

Oh, Whole Foods, you pander to my sense
Of superiority, even as you pamper my taste buds.

I should probably find a better use for that buck.