Appomattox Court House

When I think about how basketball
Or football players
Weep when they win
When they lose
I could hardly see for the tears

As I thought about the conclusion
Of the great Civil War—
Of Lee, surrounded, with starving troops,
And Grant, offering the enemy
Immediate parole, and the continued
Possession of their horses—

And the weeping and the relief
The overwhelming emotion of the moment

As the two armies passed each other
In full salute

The one side to surrender their arms,
And the other side to receive them
Respectfully, with honor.

The Park, Revisited

As the sun was setting,
We went to the park,
My boys and I.

It was smaller than I expected,
Two swings, two rocker animals,
A single slide with a climbing tower.

The boys ran around happily,
And Caleb climbed the ladder,
Slid down, and ran as fast as he could

For more. But what I most remember
Was the little girl who asked me
To help her put on her shoes,

And I looked at her teeth,
Three top teeth missing, and the new ones
Coming in black.

And her cough, and her runny nose. Silently
I prayed for her, that the Lord would meet her.
Her mother showed us the new baby,

Two months old, four pounds at birth.
She spoke with a lisp because of her missing front teeth.
Uncommonly bad nutrition,

Or meth addiction?
A shocking reminder that not only do I not know my neighbors,
But I don’t want to know them.

That is too much brokenness for me.
Even so, come Lord Jesus.
Have mercy on this broken world.

Nigerian Akara

From the description, it sounds like falafel,
Made of black-eyed peas instead of garbanzo beans.
And reading about the delicious deep-fried patties

Made me long for falafel.

I had no garbanzo beans thawed,
But the internet has everything,
Including a recipe for kidney bean falafel.

And I ate and I ate, and now
All that frying coconut oil is sitting heavy in my stomach.

It Is Finished!

I have thought of this as a quiet conclusion,
A hurting, dying man’s final statement
Before he breathed his last.

But what if this came out

As a victory cry?

A Park

After a busy morning planting,
The Grandparents realized
It was too late to take an excursion far.

So they tried the local elementary school park.

It is “near for the country,”
About six miles away.
And I have never been there.
Almost seven years in this place,

And I have never been there.

But I heard that the boys all had a good time.

Take the Time

In the African exhibit,
We saw a 20’ tall headdress,
“That required great strength and stamina to wear.”
And capes and masks.

Isaiah wanted to watch the movie about
How the various items were used.

“We can come again, any time,” I promised,

But was met with a disbelieving scoff:

Right. Anytime.

Touché.

But this should, I think, become a regular stop
In our homeschooling adventures.

Virginia Museum of Fine Arts

Abraham had his first
Art museum experience
Last October. He was not much a fan.

Today we bounced through
Greek statues,
An Egyptian mummy,
A Roman mosaic,
A life-size statue of a Medieval pope holding his head.
And the boys were suitably impressed.

But when we got to the room of silver,
Abraham exclaimed over and over.
The intricacy! The skill! The value! The quantity!

Of all the things to enjoy,
I had fully ignored this one.
Yet it was what made my artistic son leap.

Provide opportunities,
And allow the outcome to be what it may.

Maymont

We drove to Richmond,
Arriving around lunchtime.
I had packed sandwich fixings,
And we ate in a butterfly park
On the grounds of an old estate.

There was a small petting zoo,
And though the chickens
And Muscovy duck
And Babydoll sheep
Entirely ignored us,
The various types of goats came up,
Looking for food.
And the Clydesdale and the sika deer
Watched us warily.

Isaiah had the map, and asked to keep going,
To the Japanese garden, about a mile away.
And so we strolled there,
Passing a caged fox, and blooming daffodils,
Admiring the local birds of prey on exhibit:
Great Horned Owl, Spotted Owl,
Red-Shouldered Hawk, Red-Tailed Hawk,
Bald Eagle.

The Japanese Garden was all Isaiah could have hoped for,
And all the boys ran happily, up around a waterfall,
Over the stepping stone “bridge,”
Looking at koi,
Touching bamboo.

And the tulips in the Italian Garden bloomed,
And the James River twinkled in the distance,
And the climbing tree in the manor’s yard
Proved irresistible.

We even had a moment of
Children running on the hilltops.

Two hours of joy, under a perfect sky.

This Moment

After an encouragement to think of something to do

Other than check my phone,

I smiled at the woman doing returns.
I didn’t need to shop, thank you, but
I could look at the flowers
And admire the produce
And sit on a cheery red stool and
Pray and
Think.

All of these things were soul satisfying.
A twenty-minute vacation
As the multi-tasking woman
Gradually processed my returns.

Playing Bach

I aim to spend fifteen minutes a day playing Bach,
Though most days I have some distraction midway.

I miss, perhaps, one day a month.

The same five pieces, every day:

Minuet
Minuet
Minuet
Polonaise
March

And when I have practiced that last enough,
I’ll play six pieces every day,
Adding in the next.

Not Convenient

I’ve been working longer hours
Than I have for years,
Occasionally even full-time.

And the motor home,
Abandoned for two years and more,
Needed a quick overhaul
These last two weeks,
As we prepare for visiting relatives.

Did I mention we homeschool?
That we have a two-year-old, into everything?
That I have to accommodate a special diet?

Into this controlled chaos,
Our friend came to visit.

This was not, perhaps, convenient.

But I look back on a day of work
And cleaning
And learning
And company
And now, at last, a little creativity,

And I think:
What else is a day for?

Summoned

Working with sons three and four,
Son two summoned me
To another room.

I almost refused
But relented and found

Sons two and five,
Ear to ear grins,
In the rocking chair
With a blanket over their legs.

I almost missed it.

Daylight Savings

I woke at six, and spent a nice time in a silent house.
When Caleb woke, I read peacefully to him,
Until I got sleepy again.
“It’s 8:15. I’ll just take a nap.”

From the living room, I heard a correction:
“It’s 9:15.”

And my corrector went through the house, resetting all clocks.

No matter.

I went back to sleep for another hour.

That Was Gross

In preparation for visitors,
We’ve been frantically cleaning
The well-used motor home.
Scrubbing the shower,
Washing out drawers,
Tearing out carpet.

I was in the middle of yet another hour
Using soap and muscles
To remove droppings and other nastiness,

When Caleb joined me.

He took off his shoe to show me
He had stepped in doggie doo-doo.
And in the process got some on his hands,
Which he wiped on his shirt,
And I looked down to see a trail
Of stinky spots from the door.

Sometimes it seems that no matter
How fast I clean,
The mess returns faster.

As I pulled open a clean drawer
To see a fresh dropping.

Psalm 100

Enter his gates with thanksgiving, his courts with your praise.

Driving around town yesterday,
This phrase struck me
Like a blow.

I think I usually enter his gates
With complaints,
Or distress,

Or, perhaps worse,
Hoping the time will be short,
So I can get to the rest of my life.

On Mount Zion

Then King David went in and sat before the LORD.

After three decades of Christ-following,
I am not often surprised.

So I confess my astonishment
When I learned that
During the time of David
The Ark of the Covenant
Was kept not in
The Tabernacle at Shiloh

But in David’s tent
On Mount Zion
In Jerusalem.

Sacrifices of animals,
The showbread,
The shofar
In Shiloh.

A new dispensation,
A sacrifice of praise,
Of instruments and voices,
Ascending to God
In Zion.

And a closer intimacy between
God and man.

Resurrection Proof

God never rewards disbelief; he always rewards faith.

After Christ was raised,
He did not appear to
Pilate, Caiaphas, Herod,
Those powerful rulers.

He went to the women,
The disappointed followers,
The inconstant disciples,
And gave them the proof

Of his resurrected body.

The Scriptures

Sixty-six books.
Sixty-three of them
Written by
Sons of Abraham.

Hebrews,
Without proven author.

Two written by Luke,
A Gentile.

Early Morning Rainbows

In my bedroom window,
Which faces due east,
I have four sun-catchers.

On sunny mornings,
If Caleb is grumpy when he wakes,
I mention the sun, and the rainbows,
And he perks up
And points, and looks around,
Amazed by the magic that surrounds us.

This morning, small hands on my face woke me,
And I looked up into a beatific smile,
As garbled baby speech said,
Wake and look! Rainbows!

From Five to Fifteen

I have been disciplined
To play five minutes a day.
That was sufficient.
I could see gradual progress.

Then I played an hour one day,
And realized that I couldn’t
Return to five minutes only.

Minuet, Minuet

The first Bach Minuet
Is the sweetest little dance
Imaginable, lilting and happy,
In a major key, always running
Up, up!

The second Bach Minuet
Is somber, minor,
Achingly beautiful,
As it moves
Down, down.

New Year

Of course we know that New Year’s
Is just another day.

And yet, it is a time of symbolic
New beginnings.

I like having a fresh start.
I’ll take what I can get.

Shift

Looking back, year to year,
I think about the end of 2014,
And how almost every one
Of my major relationships then
Shifted dramatically this year.

One almost married: never see;
One deeply grieving: never see;
One busy working and living: occasional, not regular;
One alive with Christ;
One was a weekly friend, now only monthly;
One moved to Belgium;
One dropped me completely.

This distressed me, until I remembered others:
One comes on occasion and we talk;
One comes regularly and we talk and pray and laugh and cry;
One I visit and we are kindred spirits for hours;
And two young people took me to an art museum.

For Sale

We put our herd of eleven
Up for sale three weeks ago.
We asked a bit below
Half of the market rate for purebreds.
(Ours were pure, but the registry
Proved such a pain, we gave up.)

And this has been a beautiful
Dispersal, as six different people came,
And four different people bought:

A set of three,
The bull,
A cow-calf pair,
Five animals.

It astonishes me the different needs
Of the different purchasers,
And the overall ease of selling,
And how it worked out so nicely
Right at the new year,
Where we all get new beginnings.

And even with all the ease, I think:
I am very glad this was not a task
Left to me
Alone!

One Less Concern

I don’t drive the tractor.
One time, going up a hill,
The steering wheel came off
In my hand, and as I rolled
Backwards down the hill
Towards the creek,
I remembered again
Why big vehicles scare me.

This did happen,
But I doubt it was actually
As terrifying as it felt to me.
I don’t drive the tractor.

Isaiah is Phil’s mini-me,
The one who happily backs it
Out of the barn,
Steers around the farm.

But as good as he is,
He isn’t experienced
At driving in slick conditions.
Or maneuvering in tight spaces.

It has been a concern of mine
That if Phil died unexpectedly,
I would not only have to deal
With my grief,
And the grief of five sons,
I would have to deal with
Keeping alive large animals
Who eat hay in large bales,
Delivered by a tractor
That I don’t drive.

Today, I have one less concern.

Free of Farm Animals

Since August 29, 2009,
We have not had a day
Free of farm animals.

Tomorrow we will wake up
To our first day of
New freedom.

I've Waited a Long Time

Nine and a half years now,
I’ve waited for a book to
Captivate
My son.

A book that he will pick up
And read because he is
Desperate
For more.

He was listening to the Henry Huggins series,
And I expected he would
Laugh out loud.
And he did.

And I liked that.
But I liked it more to see him,
Book in hand,
Reading along.