In Jesus’ parable of the sower.
Some seed fell on the path.
Birds devoured it.
Birds symbolize demons.
Seed symbolizes the Word,
Jesus.
The birds recognize the seed
Even when the path does not.
And the seed is undiminished
By digestion. Many plants grow
From the waste of birds.
The Word goes out
Undiminished.
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Tantrum
Some weeks ago, Caleb, wishing for his way,
Lay on the floor and drummed his heels.
I called the brothers to watch this tantrum,
A part of child development that each son attempts once.
We all laughed, and Caleb, on his dignity, stopped.
He hasn’t tried again.
I think about that display of frustration.
We stood around this little man
As he tried to figure out how the world works,
And we all loved him, despite his naughtiness.
We all want good things for him,
And have compassion on his sorrow.
I wonder if, after we are glorified, we will look back on our lives
With fondness, even for the stumbling bits,
Knowing that we were mostly doing the best we could.
I wonder if even the failures will seem both petty and precious.
Lay on the floor and drummed his heels.
I called the brothers to watch this tantrum,
A part of child development that each son attempts once.
We all laughed, and Caleb, on his dignity, stopped.
He hasn’t tried again.
I think about that display of frustration.
We stood around this little man
As he tried to figure out how the world works,
And we all loved him, despite his naughtiness.
We all want good things for him,
And have compassion on his sorrow.
I wonder if, after we are glorified, we will look back on our lives
With fondness, even for the stumbling bits,
Knowing that we were mostly doing the best we could.
I wonder if even the failures will seem both petty and precious.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
The Happy Dance
In college, I would do a little dance
When it was my turn to open the mail at work.
I realized today that this is not a learned behavior.
Caleb, when he is about to get something
He really, really wants,
Laughs and stomps his feet,
Enormous grin on his face.
The happy dance.
A human condition.
When it was my turn to open the mail at work.
I realized today that this is not a learned behavior.
Caleb, when he is about to get something
He really, really wants,
Laughs and stomps his feet,
Enormous grin on his face.
The happy dance.
A human condition.
Baby Hospitality
When a guest arrives,
Caleb claps and waves.
Sometimes he runs to,
Sometimes he runs away.
He is not neutral.
Caleb claps and waves.
Sometimes he runs to,
Sometimes he runs away.
He is not neutral.
A Riff on Psalm 56
Put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?
This I know, that God is for me.
I think of my friend’s tears,
A stream welling from deep within.
Tears captured in a bottle,
Tears and tossings recorded in a book.
God sees them, holds them, records them, carries them.
The God who is for me.
The God who delivers my feet from stumbling
That I may walk before God
In the light of life.
Why Would God Do That?
Two weeks ago, I was compelled
To pick poison ivy at a friend’s house.
I missed the first day I intended to go,
But rejoiced at a second chance,
And pulled a bag of the horrible vine,
While we chatted and laughed together.
Two days later, I had a rash on my wrist,
And small patches on my face and neck.
I am no stranger to the long-lasting, itchy welts,
And wasn’t surprised. I dealt with it.
My friend, though, was undone.
This minor irritation for me left her
Guilt-stricken, almost in tears.
I tried to reassure her that I felt compelled to do this.
“God told me to do it. Do not have guilt.”
“But why would he do that?”
Because you planted a beautiful garden with your mother,
And simply didn’t recognize that it was directly on the vine,
And I want you to have a beautiful garden to enjoy.
Because I am not highly reactive and this will soon fade.
Because you have enough on your plate as it is,
And it is more joyful to serve another than to wrestle through alone.
Because obedience is not always free from repercussions.
Because sometimes we receive grace and it hurts to do so.
Why would he do that?
I don’t know. But I have some guesses.
To pick poison ivy at a friend’s house.
I missed the first day I intended to go,
But rejoiced at a second chance,
And pulled a bag of the horrible vine,
While we chatted and laughed together.
Two days later, I had a rash on my wrist,
And small patches on my face and neck.
I am no stranger to the long-lasting, itchy welts,
And wasn’t surprised. I dealt with it.
My friend, though, was undone.
This minor irritation for me left her
Guilt-stricken, almost in tears.
I tried to reassure her that I felt compelled to do this.
“God told me to do it. Do not have guilt.”
“But why would he do that?”
Because you planted a beautiful garden with your mother,
And simply didn’t recognize that it was directly on the vine,
And I want you to have a beautiful garden to enjoy.
Because I am not highly reactive and this will soon fade.
Because you have enough on your plate as it is,
And it is more joyful to serve another than to wrestle through alone.
Because obedience is not always free from repercussions.
Because sometimes we receive grace and it hurts to do so.
Why would he do that?
I don’t know. But I have some guesses.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Almost Fainting
There are big things happening right now.
Brotherly affection in my house.
A logjam in healing in a far place.
Looming unemployment.
I was praying about the first of these recently
And the verse came to mind that says,
“This kind only comes out through prayer and fasting.”
I don’t fast when pregnant. Nor when nursing.
The nutritional needs for the child make it so, so painful.
But I could not shake the verse,
So I spent 24 hours, from the conclusion of one dinner
To the commencement of the next,
Without eating.
Man does not live on bread alone,
But on every word that descends from the mouth of God.
It was so hard, it brings me to tears just remembering.
I felt faint.
I thought over and over,
This is the level of intensity that I long for things to be made right.
I feel it in my gut, in my body.
I feel it before I eat,
And then, when I started to eat again and felt ill for hours,
Ill like morning sickness,
So ill that I lay in bed and moaned …
Hear this moaning, oh, Lord.
Act on behalf of your people.
Brotherly affection in my house.
A logjam in healing in a far place.
Looming unemployment.
I was praying about the first of these recently
And the verse came to mind that says,
“This kind only comes out through prayer and fasting.”
I don’t fast when pregnant. Nor when nursing.
The nutritional needs for the child make it so, so painful.
But I could not shake the verse,
So I spent 24 hours, from the conclusion of one dinner
To the commencement of the next,
Without eating.
Man does not live on bread alone,
But on every word that descends from the mouth of God.
It was so hard, it brings me to tears just remembering.
I felt faint.
I thought over and over,
This is the level of intensity that I long for things to be made right.
I feel it in my gut, in my body.
I feel it before I eat,
And then, when I started to eat again and felt ill for hours,
Ill like morning sickness,
So ill that I lay in bed and moaned …
Hear this moaning, oh, Lord.
Act on behalf of your people.
Arbitrary Parenting
So much of parenting seems arbitrary.
Decisions that could go one way one day,
Suddenly switch the next day.
One son wants to make something in the kitchen almost daily.
So many requests to make cookies or brownies.
I have read full books on the danger of sugar. I often say no.
Today I remembered, though, that my parents gave me free run
Of the kitchen. I loved it, trying new recipes, eating the results.
Once I went to my mother to tell her that
We would be out of cloves. “The recipe called for a half cup.”
I hadn’t thought before that recipes can be wrong.
(I had measured the spice, but not added it. It seemed excessive.)
If my son wants to create in the kitchen,
I think it’s time to let him.
We have enough guests—
We’ll have people to share our sugar high.
Decisions that could go one way one day,
Suddenly switch the next day.
One son wants to make something in the kitchen almost daily.
So many requests to make cookies or brownies.
I have read full books on the danger of sugar. I often say no.
Today I remembered, though, that my parents gave me free run
Of the kitchen. I loved it, trying new recipes, eating the results.
Once I went to my mother to tell her that
We would be out of cloves. “The recipe called for a half cup.”
I hadn’t thought before that recipes can be wrong.
(I had measured the spice, but not added it. It seemed excessive.)
If my son wants to create in the kitchen,
I think it’s time to let him.
We have enough guests—
We’ll have people to share our sugar high.
Painter and Toddler
As we read a book about Rafael,
More properly Raffaello,
One son said,
We don’t have a Raffaello,
But a Rascal-lo.
Our toddler does get into things!
More properly Raffaello,
One son said,
We don’t have a Raffaello,
But a Rascal-lo.
Our toddler does get into things!
Sunday, July 26, 2015
A George Muller Moment
At the turn of the New Year,
I found myself in prayer with a woman
I had just met at a party.
I had asked how she was doing
And she told me.
So we prayed.
It was the best way to begin a new year.
This week, I heard the results of that prayer.
She and her spouse had arrived with twenty dollars to their name.
They had nothing to celebrate, but friends were hosting the party,
So they decided to go.
A man was at this party that they knew,
But he ran in other circles.
They did not expect to see him.
While I was praying with the wife,
The man pulled her spouse aside
And gave him a few hundred dollars
That the spouse had lent, not expecting repayment.
The couple came with their last twenty.
They left with new provision,
New hope,
In the New Year.
I found myself in prayer with a woman
I had just met at a party.
I had asked how she was doing
And she told me.
So we prayed.
It was the best way to begin a new year.
This week, I heard the results of that prayer.
She and her spouse had arrived with twenty dollars to their name.
They had nothing to celebrate, but friends were hosting the party,
So they decided to go.
A man was at this party that they knew,
But he ran in other circles.
They did not expect to see him.
While I was praying with the wife,
The man pulled her spouse aside
And gave him a few hundred dollars
That the spouse had lent, not expecting repayment.
The couple came with their last twenty.
They left with new provision,
New hope,
In the New Year.
I Am Good
Jesus told a parable
Of a man who hired folks to work in his vineyard
At six in the morning, at nine, at noon, at three, and at five.
He paid those who worked twelve hours
The wages they agreed upon.
He had promised the rest
“Whatsoever is right.”
They received the wages for the whole day.
This is not fair.
This is generous.
Whatsoever is right.
Which makes me think that
Grace is the right bent to the universe.
Of a man who hired folks to work in his vineyard
At six in the morning, at nine, at noon, at three, and at five.
He paid those who worked twelve hours
The wages they agreed upon.
He had promised the rest
“Whatsoever is right.”
They received the wages for the whole day.
This is not fair.
This is generous.
Whatsoever is right.
Which makes me think that
Grace is the right bent to the universe.
Friday, July 24, 2015
Execution
I woke from troubled sleep to bleary morning.
After breakfast, the oatmeal press
Was knocked off its countertop perch and
Broke.
Later, I ordered a replacement part for twenty bucks.
In the scheme of life, this is less than a blip.
But when I saw the broken pieces,
I lost it.
I had seen that oat press and had considered putting it away.
And didn’t.
I am a failure.
In that moment, no punishment seemed deep enough.
I could slap my face, but what I wanted was scourging.
Execution.
Does that seem extreme?
Welcome to the mind of a perfectionist.
I discard any clothes with holes.
If I am a holey shirt, I should be thrown away, too.
The broken oat press
Telescopes
And becomes a symbol of all the ways I have failed
To heed the voice of God
For thirty-six years.
Broken computer because I didn’t instruct my son to put it away.
A freezer of meat ruined because I didn’t get an ice cream but overcame my craving.
Dead chicks because I didn’t check on them because it wasn’t time.
Much lost in the stock market crash because I didn’t call while driving cross country.
Failures that result in financial loss, disappointment, death.
Hours later, still wiped out from my shockingly intense reaction,
I said to God: I feel like I deserve execution.
What do you have to say to me?
A picture of Jesus on the cross.
His life for mine.
And the gentle reminder:
I don’t expect perfect communication
From any of my friends.
I am glad that they try to speak with me at all,
As we skate toward mutual understanding.
God is not disappointed in my failures to hear and obey.
He is pleased that I keep trying.
After breakfast, the oatmeal press
Was knocked off its countertop perch and
Broke.
Later, I ordered a replacement part for twenty bucks.
In the scheme of life, this is less than a blip.
But when I saw the broken pieces,
I lost it.
I had seen that oat press and had considered putting it away.
And didn’t.
I am a failure.
In that moment, no punishment seemed deep enough.
I could slap my face, but what I wanted was scourging.
Execution.
Does that seem extreme?
Welcome to the mind of a perfectionist.
I discard any clothes with holes.
If I am a holey shirt, I should be thrown away, too.
The broken oat press
Telescopes
And becomes a symbol of all the ways I have failed
To heed the voice of God
For thirty-six years.
Broken computer because I didn’t instruct my son to put it away.
A freezer of meat ruined because I didn’t get an ice cream but overcame my craving.
Dead chicks because I didn’t check on them because it wasn’t time.
Much lost in the stock market crash because I didn’t call while driving cross country.
Failures that result in financial loss, disappointment, death.
Hours later, still wiped out from my shockingly intense reaction,
I said to God: I feel like I deserve execution.
What do you have to say to me?
A picture of Jesus on the cross.
His life for mine.
And the gentle reminder:
I don’t expect perfect communication
From any of my friends.
I am glad that they try to speak with me at all,
As we skate toward mutual understanding.
God is not disappointed in my failures to hear and obey.
He is pleased that I keep trying.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Night Sky
Growing up, we went camping every year.
Once I had to go to the bathroom
In the middle of the night.
My dad got up to take me.
As he carried me, I looked up.
That’s the only time I have seen the stars like that,
The Milky Way as brilliant white as milk.
More stars than I could have imagined.
We looked for a little bit,
Amazed together at the vast beauty.
A few minutes, a memory seared.
Once I had to go to the bathroom
In the middle of the night.
My dad got up to take me.
As he carried me, I looked up.
That’s the only time I have seen the stars like that,
The Milky Way as brilliant white as milk.
More stars than I could have imagined.
We looked for a little bit,
Amazed together at the vast beauty.
A few minutes, a memory seared.
The New Testament
The Kimyal people of Papua, Indonesia
Lost one Bible translator to martyrdom.
Another translated the Bible until
Her polio-ridden body failed.
The Kimyal cried out to God day by day,
Begging him for the words of God in their language,
Until a missionary teacher decided that,
Though she might feel incapable,
God was strong enough.
She took up the task.
One man, a boy when the first translator came,
Believed that he would live to see
The New Testament, even as Simeon saw the Christ.
It took forty years.
But then, captured on film,
The plane carrying the precious books
Lands high on the mountain airstrip.
The first box of books reaches the waiting hands.
And the man, who has lived to see this day,
Prays with his hands on God’s word,
While those around him weep.
Weeping and dancing.
God’s words have come to the Kimyal people!
Lost one Bible translator to martyrdom.
Another translated the Bible until
Her polio-ridden body failed.
The Kimyal cried out to God day by day,
Begging him for the words of God in their language,
Until a missionary teacher decided that,
Though she might feel incapable,
God was strong enough.
She took up the task.
One man, a boy when the first translator came,
Believed that he would live to see
The New Testament, even as Simeon saw the Christ.
It took forty years.
But then, captured on film,
The plane carrying the precious books
Lands high on the mountain airstrip.
The first box of books reaches the waiting hands.
And the man, who has lived to see this day,
Prays with his hands on God’s word,
While those around him weep.
Weeping and dancing.
God’s words have come to the Kimyal people!
One Line
I’ve had the album of sung Psalms for years,
But since I never read the lyrics,
I only know bits of the music,
Parts of lines, an occasional chorus.
So I felt socked in the gut when I read the first line,
When the visual matched the aural.
I love the LORD, for he heard me.
Such a simple statement, sung simply.
Such an intimate statement, a declaration.
I am used to saying, “I love you.”
I am not used to speaking, singing of my love for another.
It takes me aback.
I love the LORD.
Then comes the reason for love: “for he heard me.”
I want to be heard.
Further, being heard implies some action.
If my son says, “I thirst,”
Can I say that I heard him
If I do nothing to assuage his lack?
I love the LORD, for he heard me.
But since I never read the lyrics,
I only know bits of the music,
Parts of lines, an occasional chorus.
So I felt socked in the gut when I read the first line,
When the visual matched the aural.
I love the LORD, for he heard me.
Such a simple statement, sung simply.
Such an intimate statement, a declaration.
I am used to saying, “I love you.”
I am not used to speaking, singing of my love for another.
It takes me aback.
I love the LORD.
Then comes the reason for love: “for he heard me.”
I want to be heard.
Further, being heard implies some action.
If my son says, “I thirst,”
Can I say that I heard him
If I do nothing to assuage his lack?
I love the LORD, for he heard me.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Memorize
My friend recited the first part of Ephesians 2,
Beautifully, slowly, feeling her way through.
“Instead of the worries that circle my mind,
I can have God’s words circle instead.”
Beautifully, slowly, feeling her way through.
“Instead of the worries that circle my mind,
I can have God’s words circle instead.”
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Not Socially Acceptable
In April, when I had three prophetic words spoken,
Delight, Diligent, Dig,
I found myself listening, smiling, thanking …
But also realizing that when two people
Say, “You are a delight!”
There is no socially acceptable response.
It is awkward to be told who you are in Christ.
But we need to get beyond that awkwardness
To encourage and be encouraged.
Delight, Diligent, Dig,
I found myself listening, smiling, thanking …
But also realizing that when two people
Say, “You are a delight!”
There is no socially acceptable response.
It is awkward to be told who you are in Christ.
But we need to get beyond that awkwardness
To encourage and be encouraged.
Know, Don't Know
When you prophecy over someone,
Encourage them and build them up.
Most people are well aware of their
Short-comings.
But do we know the beautiful things
God has given us?
Listen for that.
Speak it forth.
Encourage them and build them up.
Most people are well aware of their
Short-comings.
But do we know the beautiful things
God has given us?
Listen for that.
Speak it forth.
Beautiful, Broken
God shows us the most beautiful things in his creation:
I’m better.
God shows us the most broken things in his creation:
See how my heart breaks.
Enter in to both the joy and the sorrow.
I’m better.
God shows us the most broken things in his creation:
See how my heart breaks.
Enter in to both the joy and the sorrow.
I Wondered
In this season, I am desperate for more of God.
And I find myself more cranky,
More impatient,
Less relaxed,
Less joyful.
Should a life spent seeking God look like
Grumpiness and anger?
Of course not.
I wondered what I was doing wrong.
Ah! I was reminded:
Resistance increases.
So go to the Lord more.
Fear not.
And I find myself more cranky,
More impatient,
Less relaxed,
Less joyful.
Should a life spent seeking God look like
Grumpiness and anger?
Of course not.
I wondered what I was doing wrong.
Ah! I was reminded:
Resistance increases.
So go to the Lord more.
Fear not.
Release Lovers
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
The cry of one’s heart:
God, release lovers into every place!
May we love you, God!
May we shed your love abroad
In our households,
In our cities,
In our world.
Oil
Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes!
Oil is richness, in flavor,
Richness in wealth.
Oil is offering, the sweet savor that ascends.
Oil is healing, anointing for those who are sick.
But I had forgotten that oil
Also gives light,
And the picture of Aaron’s anointing,
Standing before God,
Covered in fragrance,
Covered in light …
Indeed, behold how good and how pleasant it is
When brothers dwell in unity!
A Name Redeemed
And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
I met a woman named Lorelei,
/Laura Lie/,
From the story of a German siren
Who, from her rock on the Rhine,
Sang beautifully to lure sailors
To their death.
God redeemed that name for her.
She sits on the rock of Christ
And sings his beautiful song
So all will be attracted and come to the rock
And be broken, but not crushed.
A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.
Thanks be to God.
Empty-Armed Worship
I sang praises today,
Unaccompanied by any children.
It has been years since I had no one to hold,
No one around me.
I stood with my back against a wall,
Arms hugging myself.
I had not expected to feel so
Bereft.
Unaccompanied by any children.
It has been years since I had no one to hold,
No one around me.
I stood with my back against a wall,
Arms hugging myself.
I had not expected to feel so
Bereft.
I Asked the Lord for Something for a Friend
I saw a rock by the sea,
The sea a place of chaos,
Bottles smashed against the rock.
So much pummeling the rock.
The sea and the bottles did not change the rock.
And that rock was Christ.
Your life is hid with Christ in God
For you have passed from death to life.
The rock that is unchanged
Surrounds you, hides you, protects you.
The sea a place of chaos,
Bottles smashed against the rock.
So much pummeling the rock.
The sea and the bottles did not change the rock.
And that rock was Christ.
Your life is hid with Christ in God
For you have passed from death to life.
The rock that is unchanged
Surrounds you, hides you, protects you.
Prophecy
Driving up to the prophecy workshop,
I felt more tired than I had in a long time.
So many late nights, early mornings, no naps.
Emotionally drained. Weary.
On a blank card, we wrote our maiden name,
Then put it in a basket. Later we drew an unknown name
And spent some time in prayer for the unknown person,
Asking for something from the Lord.
I received my card back again.
I had a word: “Rest!!”
With a smile made from the two exclamation dots.
I can receive that with thanksgiving.
I had a scripture, with interpretation.
Proverbs 16:24:
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
The words you speak are
Overflowing from your heart for Him
And bring encouragement
And healing to others.
And I had a picture:
Also saw a sailboat with a rudder …
He is the rudder of your life
And you are the rudder for others!
Unknown to that sister in Christ,
I receive these sweet words of encouragement,
Such a blessing on my life.
I drove home tired, but joyful, no longer weary.
I felt more tired than I had in a long time.
So many late nights, early mornings, no naps.
Emotionally drained. Weary.
On a blank card, we wrote our maiden name,
Then put it in a basket. Later we drew an unknown name
And spent some time in prayer for the unknown person,
Asking for something from the Lord.
I received my card back again.
I had a word: “Rest!!”
With a smile made from the two exclamation dots.
I can receive that with thanksgiving.
I had a scripture, with interpretation.
Proverbs 16:24:
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
The words you speak are
Overflowing from your heart for Him
And bring encouragement
And healing to others.
And I had a picture:
Also saw a sailboat with a rudder …
He is the rudder of your life
And you are the rudder for others!
Unknown to that sister in Christ,
I receive these sweet words of encouragement,
Such a blessing on my life.
I drove home tired, but joyful, no longer weary.
Saturday, July 18, 2015
The King of Assyria
Prophet Isaiah tells of the Assyrians,
Besieging Jerusalem.
The Rabshakeh taunted,
“What God will save you?”
Then when God turned away the Assyrians
With a rumor,
The Rabshakeh taunted,
“This is not God’s salvation!”
Thus, I suppose, do we sometimes miss
God’s actions on our behalf,
Misinterpreting them
As the normal course of events.
King Hezekiah wondered.
He took the Rabshakeh’s taunts
And laid them before the LORD.
“The Assyrians have triumphed everywhere….”
Therefore thus saith the LORD
Concerning the king of Assyria,
“He shall not come into this city.”
And they didn’t.
Besieging Jerusalem.
The Rabshakeh taunted,
“What God will save you?”
Then when God turned away the Assyrians
With a rumor,
The Rabshakeh taunted,
“This is not God’s salvation!”
Thus, I suppose, do we sometimes miss
God’s actions on our behalf,
Misinterpreting them
As the normal course of events.
King Hezekiah wondered.
He took the Rabshakeh’s taunts
And laid them before the LORD.
“The Assyrians have triumphed everywhere….”
Therefore thus saith the LORD
Concerning the king of Assyria,
“He shall not come into this city.”
And they didn’t.
Counselor
A friend asked,
What is implied
By calling the Holy Spirit
Counselor?
That we would need one!
What is implied
By calling the Holy Spirit
Counselor?
That we would need one!
Jesus as King
People fell down on their faces
Before the carpenter’s son,
The blue collar worker.
Some needed something,
And knelt before the potentate,
Asking a boon.
Some tried to arrest him,
And, midway, fell to the ground
Before the God King.
I fell asleep thinking of
Jesus as sovereign.
Majesty: what does it look like?
Narnian High King Peter is a boy,
Nice enough but not regal.
King Arthur shares his stories
With knights and wayward wife—no help.
Fairy tale princes are imaginary,
Without details to flesh out royalty.
Then I thought of Eugenides,
King of Attolia,
Most awesome of all protagonists.
When baited by a hostile nobleman,
He held his peace, but only barely.
His ambassador felt
Relieved and angry at the same time,
Wishing that the Attolians could know
How close they had come to disaster,
And grateful that they didn’t.
He looked across the tables at the young man
Whose insult had roused the danger.
That one, he thought, looking at the courtier’s white face,
Had looked Eugenides in the eye.
He knew how near disaster he had been.
Before the carpenter’s son,
The blue collar worker.
Some needed something,
And knelt before the potentate,
Asking a boon.
Some tried to arrest him,
And, midway, fell to the ground
Before the God King.
I fell asleep thinking of
Jesus as sovereign.
Majesty: what does it look like?
Narnian High King Peter is a boy,
Nice enough but not regal.
King Arthur shares his stories
With knights and wayward wife—no help.
Fairy tale princes are imaginary,
Without details to flesh out royalty.
Then I thought of Eugenides,
King of Attolia,
Most awesome of all protagonists.
When baited by a hostile nobleman,
He held his peace, but only barely.
His ambassador felt
Relieved and angry at the same time,
Wishing that the Attolians could know
How close they had come to disaster,
And grateful that they didn’t.
He looked across the tables at the young man
Whose insult had roused the danger.
That one, he thought, looking at the courtier’s white face,
Had looked Eugenides in the eye.
He knew how near disaster he had been.
Friday, July 17, 2015
Hours Later: Current Question Answered
What do I do with the world’s hurt,
When it intrudes on my joy and peace?
Don’t avoid the pain.
Don’t carry the pain.
Enter in to the pain
And give it to Jesus.
I know the one with infinite power.
Bring the hurt and need to Jesus.
When it intrudes on my joy and peace?
Don’t avoid the pain.
Don’t carry the pain.
Enter in to the pain
And give it to Jesus.
I know the one with infinite power.
Bring the hurt and need to Jesus.
In the Gospels: Responses to Jesus
Amazement and fear.
See his magnificence: be captivated.
Worship and praising God.
See his worthiness: worship in truth.
Astounded at his teaching.
See his wisdom: receive his teaching and obey.
Fell down before him.
See his majesty: submit in humility.
Touched by him (literally).
See his compassion: collapse on him and receive his peace.
Hatred and violence.
See his steadfastness: thank him.
Crowds pressing to get to him.
See his healing: bring your need to his power.
They left their nets.
See his beauty: abandon your life for his life.
See his magnificence: be captivated.
Worship and praising God.
See his worthiness: worship in truth.
Astounded at his teaching.
See his wisdom: receive his teaching and obey.
Fell down before him.
See his majesty: submit in humility.
Touched by him (literally).
See his compassion: collapse on him and receive his peace.
Hatred and violence.
See his steadfastness: thank him.
Crowds pressing to get to him.
See his healing: bring your need to his power.
They left their nets.
See his beauty: abandon your life for his life.
A Word from the Lord
The March second before Caleb was born,
I read about autism and other disorders,
And fell asleep distressed.
There is so much that can be a challenge in this world.
(My friend assures me that challenges can also be gifts.
I believe her, though I have no desire to test this.)
I woke in the wee hours of March third,
Wondering why Phil was shining a flashlight in my eyes.
With unrelenting morning sickness, I longed to sleep
And forget, for a while, my poor body.
It was not my husband, but the full moon,
Shining down through the slim window of the trailer.
As I fell back to sleep, I heard,
“Don’t worry—he will be strong.”
By light of day, I had relief for my fears.
And a bit of sorrow that this child, too, would not be a daughter.
So I pray for daughters-in-law who will love me very much.
Then I will have my amazing sons
And daughters who will be happy to talk to me.
I read about autism and other disorders,
And fell asleep distressed.
There is so much that can be a challenge in this world.
(My friend assures me that challenges can also be gifts.
I believe her, though I have no desire to test this.)
I woke in the wee hours of March third,
Wondering why Phil was shining a flashlight in my eyes.
With unrelenting morning sickness, I longed to sleep
And forget, for a while, my poor body.
It was not my husband, but the full moon,
Shining down through the slim window of the trailer.
As I fell back to sleep, I heard,
“Don’t worry—he will be strong.”
By light of day, I had relief for my fears.
And a bit of sorrow that this child, too, would not be a daughter.
So I pray for daughters-in-law who will love me very much.
Then I will have my amazing sons
And daughters who will be happy to talk to me.
My Current Question
If I have joy and peace,
And I hear from a sister or brother in Christ
Of difficulty or distress,
It feels inappropriate
Not to enter in,
To return to my joy and peace.
What is my responsibility,
As a spiritual sibling,
In the emotional realm?
And I hear from a sister or brother in Christ
Of difficulty or distress,
It feels inappropriate
Not to enter in,
To return to my joy and peace.
What is my responsibility,
As a spiritual sibling,
In the emotional realm?
Pray XV
Pray for a person, yes.
Then pray for their sphere of influence,
Their household,
That as a single thread is changed,
The fabric of their entire life
Is also changed.
Then pray for their sphere of influence,
Their household,
That as a single thread is changed,
The fabric of their entire life
Is also changed.
Woman
Eve, created to be a
Help.
The word used of the woman twice,
The word used of God
Nineteen times.
Meaning: “saving with strength.”
A help to Adam, yes.
One wife.
A strong help.
It gets worse.
Soon after, Lamech took
Two wives,
Adah and Zillah.
Ornament and Shadow.
No longer saving with strength,
Now a decoration,
Now hidden away.
It gets worse.
Soon after, the sons of god
Took
The daughters of men.
No longer did they
Know them. They
Took them.
Oh, for a restoration of the woman
Who saves with strength!
Oh, for a woman who is a
Help.
Help.
The word used of the woman twice,
The word used of God
Nineteen times.
Meaning: “saving with strength.”
A help to Adam, yes.
One wife.
A strong help.
It gets worse.
Soon after, Lamech took
Two wives,
Adah and Zillah.
Ornament and Shadow.
No longer saving with strength,
Now a decoration,
Now hidden away.
It gets worse.
Soon after, the sons of god
Took
The daughters of men.
No longer did they
Know them. They
Took them.
Oh, for a restoration of the woman
Who saves with strength!
Oh, for a woman who is a
Help.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Pray XIV
Before the Day of Pentecost,
The disciples prayed ten days.
Waiting, obedient.
The Spirit fell.
The world began to be transformed.
Not in the paltry way,
“What the mind can conceive, man can achieve.”
What man’s mind could conceive the gift of tongues,
Three thousand added from all languages?
No. We look to the one able
To do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.
The disciples prayed ten days.
Waiting, obedient.
The Spirit fell.
The world began to be transformed.
Not in the paltry way,
“What the mind can conceive, man can achieve.”
What man’s mind could conceive the gift of tongues,
Three thousand added from all languages?
No. We look to the one able
To do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.
Pray XIII
We need prayer, as fallen, weary people.
So did the Son of Man, perfect and filled with the Spirit.
He prayed forty days before the devil tempted him.
He prayed all night before he chose the disciples
(Even so, one of the twelve betrayed him.)
He prayed for hours in the Garden of Gethsemane,
Preparing for his execution.
Don’t plan first.
Pray first.
Father, reveal your will and let me walk therein.
So did the Son of Man, perfect and filled with the Spirit.
He prayed forty days before the devil tempted him.
He prayed all night before he chose the disciples
(Even so, one of the twelve betrayed him.)
He prayed for hours in the Garden of Gethsemane,
Preparing for his execution.
Don’t plan first.
Pray first.
Father, reveal your will and let me walk therein.
Pray XII
Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession.
A command.
A promise.
Our focus ought not be
The world’s need,
But the worth and worthiness of Christ.
May he receive his inheritance.
Harvest
As I picked more blackberries,
Thrusting my way through thickets,
Emerging with mosquito bites and nettle stings,
Sticky with sweat,
I thought about how the increase comes
But we have to gather it in,
And the harvest is not always easy.
It can be costly and uncomfortable.
Thrusting my way through thickets,
Emerging with mosquito bites and nettle stings,
Sticky with sweat,
I thought about how the increase comes
But we have to gather it in,
And the harvest is not always easy.
It can be costly and uncomfortable.
Pray XI
The pattern of prayer
As found in the Lord’s prayer:
First, may God’s name be honored as holy.
May we glorify God and know more of his beautiful names.
More and earlier focus on his Kingdom coming.
Less and later focus on our needs.
As found in the Lord’s prayer:
First, may God’s name be honored as holy.
May we glorify God and know more of his beautiful names.
More and earlier focus on his Kingdom coming.
Less and later focus on our needs.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Current
Isaac made peace with people in the land.
And it came to pass the same day,
That Isaac's servants came,
And told him concerning the well which they had digged,
And said unto him, We have found water.
He made peace, and his plans prospered.
This sounds like a story from God’s people today,
Not thousands of years ago.
And it came to pass the same day,
That Isaac's servants came,
And told him concerning the well which they had digged,
And said unto him, We have found water.
He made peace, and his plans prospered.
This sounds like a story from God’s people today,
Not thousands of years ago.
The Smell of My Son
The smell of my son is as the smell of a field which the LORD hath blessed.
When a boy comes in after a time outside,
He sometimes smells of the outdoors,
The clean air, the grass.
Thousands of years ago,
Isaac knew this smell, too.
It brought him joy, too.
Cost of Living
When a household went from four
To three, the remaining wondered
How to cover the increased rent.
No one likes to be stressed all the time.
This was a matter for prayer.
Almost to the day the rent came due,
The one struggling the most
Received not the expected cost of living allowance,
But a raise that covered
The exact amount of the increased rent.
Her boss is not a believer.
But I can see the hand of God at work nonetheless.
To three, the remaining wondered
How to cover the increased rent.
No one likes to be stressed all the time.
This was a matter for prayer.
Almost to the day the rent came due,
The one struggling the most
Received not the expected cost of living allowance,
But a raise that covered
The exact amount of the increased rent.
Her boss is not a believer.
But I can see the hand of God at work nonetheless.
To Know
Abraham asks his servant
To bring a bride for Isaac.
The servant asks God for easy recognition of the woman,
An elaborate script with radical hospitality and generous service.
Rebekah unknowingly followed the servant’s script exactly.
What jumped out at me, though, was this:
And the man wondering at her held his peace,
To wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.
The servant asked and was precisely answered.
And yet he wondered and was silent, waiting
To know whether the LORD had answered.
Perhaps even obvious answers sometimes need a little time to sink in.
To bring a bride for Isaac.
The servant asks God for easy recognition of the woman,
An elaborate script with radical hospitality and generous service.
Rebekah unknowingly followed the servant’s script exactly.
What jumped out at me, though, was this:
And the man wondering at her held his peace,
To wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.
The servant asked and was precisely answered.
And yet he wondered and was silent, waiting
To know whether the LORD had answered.
Perhaps even obvious answers sometimes need a little time to sink in.
Monday, July 13, 2015
One Hundred Percent
Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us.
A young man once visited our community group.
He had a lower IQ.
I was ill-equipped to deal with
His complete inability to follow the conversation.
My friend said, “He is faithful
With what he’s been given.”
This encouraged me.
Freely serve with what you’ve been given
With your whole heart.
Years later, I thought about the gifts we have.
They are to be enjoyed.
If some of us work in a less fruitful vineyard,
May we pray and not grow discouraged,
Rejoicing in the harvest that is brought in elsewhere.
Country Neighbor
A day that Phil found discouraging,
A neighbor drove down and honked.
A mountain man type,
With a grizzled beard well down his chest.
He volunteered once to help Phil build our barn.
We saw him that day and not since.
Country neighbors don’t see each other often.
Where the cows grazed, the wood fence had a broken slat.
Two of our calves had escaped
And were standing in the road.
Our neighbor came to find us,
And when Phil hobbled out with some boys
To go and try to round up and repair,
Jerry was there with a board and some nails,
A precious country neighbor.
A neighbor drove down and honked.
A mountain man type,
With a grizzled beard well down his chest.
He volunteered once to help Phil build our barn.
We saw him that day and not since.
Country neighbors don’t see each other often.
Where the cows grazed, the wood fence had a broken slat.
Two of our calves had escaped
And were standing in the road.
Our neighbor came to find us,
And when Phil hobbled out with some boys
To go and try to round up and repair,
Jerry was there with a board and some nails,
A precious country neighbor.
Reassured
I was reading a missionary biography
About a beautiful woman of faith
Who loves Jesus
And wants to be like him.
She saw incredible transformation
In Africa.
Though happy for her,
A doubt crept in:
Was it a lack of openness to God’s will
That has kept me in the States?
Was I not obedient enough?
Today, an unexpected email
From a sister in Christ
I have met once, months ago:
You are one of the “yes” ones who will do anything He says.
How gentle is my Jesus.
About a beautiful woman of faith
Who loves Jesus
And wants to be like him.
She saw incredible transformation
In Africa.
Though happy for her,
A doubt crept in:
Was it a lack of openness to God’s will
That has kept me in the States?
Was I not obedient enough?
Today, an unexpected email
From a sister in Christ
I have met once, months ago:
You are one of the “yes” ones who will do anything He says.
How gentle is my Jesus.
For the Perfectionist
In prayer,
I asked my friend
What Jesus would say
About her need to be perfect.
He said that I’m almost there.
No. He didn’t really.
He said:
FYI: That was never my agenda for you.
I, too, receive that with joy.
I asked my friend
What Jesus would say
About her need to be perfect.
He said that I’m almost there.
No. He didn’t really.
He said:
FYI: That was never my agenda for you.
I, too, receive that with joy.
Praying
The Psalms praise God
Or maybe rant
Or call down imprecations on enemies.
There’s a range of purposes.
Jesus thanks God for food.
Goes alone to pray (just to be with God?).
Seeks direction before choosing disciples.
Paul prays for the believers,
That they will increase in love,
Hold fast in faith,
Be fruitful in the work of the Lord.
I love that prayer is
Vast enough
And personal enough
That there is not
One
Right way to pray.
Or maybe rant
Or call down imprecations on enemies.
There’s a range of purposes.
Jesus thanks God for food.
Goes alone to pray (just to be with God?).
Seeks direction before choosing disciples.
Paul prays for the believers,
That they will increase in love,
Hold fast in faith,
Be fruitful in the work of the Lord.
I love that prayer is
Vast enough
And personal enough
That there is not
One
Right way to pray.
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Learn This
And his disciples say unto him, Whence should we have so much bread in the wilderness, as to fill so great a multitude?
Jesus feeds five thousand men
With five loaves and two fishes.
One chapter later, during a three day
Healing campaign,
Jesus tells the disciples that the people
Might faint on the way
If he sent them without food.
And the disciples point out that there is
No food in the wilderness.
This, as
They stood next to one who fed five thousand.
The ignorance astounds me.
The lack of faith.
I woke this morning to gray skies.
It feels like it often rains on days we plan parties.
I wonder how many cakes to make,
With the string of almost unbroken
Emailed regrets.
Will anyone come?
Is it worth it?
Then this reminder:
Jesus is the one who feeds all.
Come and feed
Us, and all who come.
Just for You
Joe, approaching seven,
Still has not memorized the letter sounds.
We’ve been working on that for
Three
Years.
Today Phil called him over,
And the two sat together for an hour,
Drawing pictures for the 26 cards
With upper case and lower case symbols.
Just for you.
This offers Joe a cheat sheet,
A way to see
N
And look at the picture of a nail
And remember the sound.
I hope this will be a game changer.
I tested him in blending.
Even simple consonant-vowel-consonant words, like
Pig pot Sam mop
Challenged him.
Four sound words, like
Nest black
Were impossible.
Now we know where our labor must be.
Now we have a way forward.
Now Joe, with some visual clues, has a chance.
And he is excited!
Still has not memorized the letter sounds.
We’ve been working on that for
Three
Years.
Today Phil called him over,
And the two sat together for an hour,
Drawing pictures for the 26 cards
With upper case and lower case symbols.
Just for you.
This offers Joe a cheat sheet,
A way to see
N
And look at the picture of a nail
And remember the sound.
I hope this will be a game changer.
I tested him in blending.
Even simple consonant-vowel-consonant words, like
Pig pot Sam mop
Challenged him.
Four sound words, like
Nest black
Were impossible.
Now we know where our labor must be.
Now we have a way forward.
Now Joe, with some visual clues, has a chance.
And he is excited!
Because I Wanted More
I have been on a reading jag this week.
One book on prayer, generally.
A second book on the prayers of Paul.
A third book that recommends silence.
A missionary biography of a woman in India;
A woman in Central Africa Republic;
A woman in Mozambique.
A book on memorizing Scripture.
A book on the books of Scripture.
(This doesn’t include just reading Scripture. That, too.)
Then I had no more joy.
I don’t pray as much as I should,
Nor make requests as Paul,
Nor often make time for silence.
I have not gone to either
Africa or Asia.
I claim no orphanage or revival.
I have failed every time I began to memorize a book.
Why would things offered for my aid
Prove death to me?
One book on prayer, generally.
A second book on the prayers of Paul.
A third book that recommends silence.
A missionary biography of a woman in India;
A woman in Central Africa Republic;
A woman in Mozambique.
A book on memorizing Scripture.
A book on the books of Scripture.
(This doesn’t include just reading Scripture. That, too.)
Then I had no more joy.
I don’t pray as much as I should,
Nor make requests as Paul,
Nor often make time for silence.
I have not gone to either
Africa or Asia.
I claim no orphanage or revival.
I have failed every time I began to memorize a book.
Why would things offered for my aid
Prove death to me?
Grocery Shopping
I walk across the parking lot
And admire the shiny Passat,
The midsize Mercedes.
This is the store I have come to.
And then turns in a beater car,
Windows open (presumably: no air conditioning).
This, too, is my store.
How strange that I should feel
Euphoric,
Overflowing with love.
Inside: local zucchinis, cherries on sale,
Different kinds of peaches,
A few more strawberries at the end of the season.
I try to walk around without grinning.
Impossible.
Too beautiful, too much to see and enjoy.
There are beautiful people with perfectly coiffed hair,
And, yes, a morbidly obese woman.
She, too, belongs with us.
The dapper businessman
And the woman in a wheelchair who smiles at my son …
My community of Friday evening shoppers.
Welcome.
Enter in.
And admire the shiny Passat,
The midsize Mercedes.
This is the store I have come to.
And then turns in a beater car,
Windows open (presumably: no air conditioning).
This, too, is my store.
How strange that I should feel
Euphoric,
Overflowing with love.
Inside: local zucchinis, cherries on sale,
Different kinds of peaches,
A few more strawberries at the end of the season.
I try to walk around without grinning.
Impossible.
Too beautiful, too much to see and enjoy.
There are beautiful people with perfectly coiffed hair,
And, yes, a morbidly obese woman.
She, too, belongs with us.
The dapper businessman
And the woman in a wheelchair who smiles at my son …
My community of Friday evening shoppers.
Welcome.
Enter in.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Pity the Elbow
Midmorning, perhaps a bit bored,
Caleb lay next to me
And stared at the ceiling.
His elbow nearby, I remembered
That it is impossible to kiss one’s own elbow,
Which makes it a body part
Neglected
(Perhaps)
And so I kissed his,
And we chuckled together.
Caleb lay next to me
And stared at the ceiling.
His elbow nearby, I remembered
That it is impossible to kiss one’s own elbow,
Which makes it a body part
Neglected
(Perhaps)
And so I kissed his,
And we chuckled together.
Caleb, on Waking
That morning, he opened his eyes,
Got out of bed,
Brushed away my interference,
And ran to the playroom door.
He flung it open with a flourish and an enormous grin,
Then, amid cheering from his brothers,
Ran to the far corner
Where he lay on his belly,
Head down,
Waiting for us to ask,
“Where is Caleb?”
Then he looked up,
With groggy eyes and cheeks still slack from sleep,
Laughed,
And put his head down again.
Some mornings he wakes crying,
But this delight I was glad to witness.
Got out of bed,
Brushed away my interference,
And ran to the playroom door.
He flung it open with a flourish and an enormous grin,
Then, amid cheering from his brothers,
Ran to the far corner
Where he lay on his belly,
Head down,
Waiting for us to ask,
“Where is Caleb?”
Then he looked up,
With groggy eyes and cheeks still slack from sleep,
Laughed,
And put his head down again.
Some mornings he wakes crying,
But this delight I was glad to witness.
Resistance
Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name.
I am timid
When it comes to resistance.
I once prayer-walked around my alma mater,
But was so traumatized by ending with a tired son,
A hungry mama,
And especially the missing
Red shoe,
One of a pair from proud grandparents,
I never went again.
Far easier to keep my head down,
Avoid snipers,
Stay safe.
I am timid.
I say this to my shame.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Prompted
All week long, the boys looked forward to watching
Batman cartoons with my friend.
After I sent the confirmation email,
Phil reminded me that we needed his computer.
I emailed right back to say, “Don’t come!”
But a bit later, my friend came with her computer.
This was all good, and the boys were thrilled.
But that is not the whole story.
My friend hadn’t gotten my second email.
She left her house and thought, “I should get my computer.”
So she went back and got it, though she never has before,
And brought it with her.
Phil and I laugh that God would care about
The pleasure of my children watching Batman
Enough to prompt his daughter.
What a wasteful extravagance of direction.
Or, as one friend said,
God must really love you.
Batman cartoons with my friend.
After I sent the confirmation email,
Phil reminded me that we needed his computer.
I emailed right back to say, “Don’t come!”
But a bit later, my friend came with her computer.
This was all good, and the boys were thrilled.
But that is not the whole story.
My friend hadn’t gotten my second email.
She left her house and thought, “I should get my computer.”
So she went back and got it, though she never has before,
And brought it with her.
Phil and I laugh that God would care about
The pleasure of my children watching Batman
Enough to prompt his daughter.
What a wasteful extravagance of direction.
Or, as one friend said,
God must really love you.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
So Happy for You
When I told a friend that it was grey
“For the 1100th day in a row,”
He texted me a photo of his view:
Blue skies and flowers.
This cheered me, that he is in a pretty place,
That such a place exists somewhere.
“For the 1100th day in a row,”
He texted me a photo of his view:
Blue skies and flowers.
This cheered me, that he is in a pretty place,
That such a place exists somewhere.
Stratus Nebulosus Opacus
The undifferentiated grey sky
Has hovered over our treetops
For several days.
It is not hot or cold,
Only occasionally drizzly,
A thick opaque grey.
A stratus translucidus cloud
Would at least show the circle of the sun.
But no. We have nothing so interesting to see.
But this state will not last forever.
Though much sunlight reflects off the top,
The radiation from the earth
Eventually warms the underside enough
That bits of the cloud wear through,
Transforming this undifferentiation
Into pockets of lighter and darker,
Bits of sky and sun shining through.
Stratocumulus, we welcome you!
Has hovered over our treetops
For several days.
It is not hot or cold,
Only occasionally drizzly,
A thick opaque grey.
A stratus translucidus cloud
Would at least show the circle of the sun.
But no. We have nothing so interesting to see.
But this state will not last forever.
Though much sunlight reflects off the top,
The radiation from the earth
Eventually warms the underside enough
That bits of the cloud wear through,
Transforming this undifferentiation
Into pockets of lighter and darker,
Bits of sky and sun shining through.
Stratocumulus, we welcome you!
Monday, July 6, 2015
Pray X
A church ran a prayer experiment.
They split a subdivision of 160 houses
Into two parts:
Eighty they prayed for intensively.
Eighty they did not.
After a time, the secretary contacted all:
Do you have prayer needs?
Would you like a visit from the church?
One of the eighty homes without prayer had a request.
Sixty-seven of the homes with prayer had a request,
And more than forty asked for a visit.
Run your life in the Spirit’s power.
They split a subdivision of 160 houses
Into two parts:
Eighty they prayed for intensively.
Eighty they did not.
After a time, the secretary contacted all:
Do you have prayer needs?
Would you like a visit from the church?
One of the eighty homes without prayer had a request.
Sixty-seven of the homes with prayer had a request,
And more than forty asked for a visit.
Run your life in the Spirit’s power.
Pray IX
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
The Christ follower should be
Neither lazy nor burned out.
To gracefully produce fruit,
Be in step with Him spiritually.
If work and prayer are our legs,
We need to step out correctly.
Prayer first.
Then work.
Pray VIII
Phil can step only with one foot right now.
Hopping is not an efficient mode of transportation.
If prayer is one leg,
Work is the other.
Walk with both when following Jesus.
Hopping is not an efficient mode of transportation.
If prayer is one leg,
Work is the other.
Walk with both when following Jesus.
Pray VII
When I go prayer walking, interceding quietly for each house I pass, I focus the light of God’s love on that home, and I believe this is an extremely significant act.… When I shine God’s light on an area by praying for it, I also hold a hose on that lifeless place, watering it with God’s blessings.
When Jesus came to the end of his life,
He prayed all night in the garden.
His followers didn’t.
He was obedient all the way to the cross.
His followers weren’t.
Prayer is not pretend life.
Prayer is real life
That leads to more life and better life.
Pray VI
Why is it that when we discover something unusual, our first inclination is to share it with our loved ones? The pain of losing loved ones is often intensified when we want to share some new discovery with them and we suddenly realize that sharing with them is no longer possible.
With prayer, we share with God
The good and beautiful
And the bad, ugly, painful.
We walk with him and live with him.
I receive this word.
And I think about how I pour out
My thoughts
And treasured memories
In writing,
But forget to tell them to
My husband
My children.
I need to walk in closer communion
With my God
With my husband
With my children.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Pray V
I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.
A guest arrived in the middle of the night.
His host was out of food.
The host went to his friend’s house
And beseeched his friend to arise
And give him food.
In the end, the friend did as the host demanded.
And the guest was fed.
Thinking of this passage, a pastor said,
“We are to be friends in the middle
In the middle of the night.”
Like the host out of food,
We see the world’s deep need,
And know that we have nothing to satisfy.
But we know the one who does.
Go pound on the door and ask.
Snake Bite
In the midst of a hard season,
My friend and her family went to the park
So they could have a restful day together.
As they strolled the path
A snake bit her.
This attack is so ludicrous, so overt,
It seems unbelievable.
Enter in to the malice, the meanness.
I realized today that in the last six weeks,
Phil broke his leg.
Our dishwasher broke completely.
Phil’s computer is, for now, ruined.
That is actually
A lot.
So I prayed for protection,
For an end to attack.
And then my butter dish broke.
It is beautiful.
A superfluous gift from a friend
That spoke to me of community and love
And beauty and lavish abundance.
I can’t just buy another one. It is discontinued.
There was not another thing in my house
That could have broken that would have felt so like
A snake bite.
My friend and her family went to the park
So they could have a restful day together.
As they strolled the path
A snake bit her.
This attack is so ludicrous, so overt,
It seems unbelievable.
Enter in to the malice, the meanness.
I realized today that in the last six weeks,
Phil broke his leg.
Our dishwasher broke completely.
Phil’s computer is, for now, ruined.
That is actually
A lot.
So I prayed for protection,
For an end to attack.
And then my butter dish broke.
It is beautiful.
A superfluous gift from a friend
That spoke to me of community and love
And beauty and lavish abundance.
I can’t just buy another one. It is discontinued.
There was not another thing in my house
That could have broken that would have felt so like
A snake bite.
Much Happier
Caleb and I were at a party.
His brothers arrived several hours later.
When he saw them come in,
He wriggled with joy,
Screamed with glee,
Giggled with delight,
Reached out with anticipation,
Then ran to them with all speed.
He hadn’t appeared to be having a bad time.
He was simply much happier with his people around him.
As, I suppose, are we all.
His brothers arrived several hours later.
When he saw them come in,
He wriggled with joy,
Screamed with glee,
Giggled with delight,
Reached out with anticipation,
Then ran to them with all speed.
He hadn’t appeared to be having a bad time.
He was simply much happier with his people around him.
As, I suppose, are we all.
Asked and Answered
Job, under duress, cries out to God:
“Hast thou eyes of flesh?
Or seest thou as man seeth?
Are thy days as the days of man?
Are thy years as man’s days?”
Some time later, Jesus answers,
“Yes.”
“Hast thou eyes of flesh?
Or seest thou as man seeth?
Are thy days as the days of man?
Are thy years as man’s days?”
Some time later, Jesus answers,
“Yes.”
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Weary
After a day when life felt like
A one-two punch,
When I didn’t have adequate sleep,
And I read about injustice to the poor,
Until everything in me, and in my life,
And in the world at large felt broken,
I came to read in the book of Isaiah,
Hesitant.
God met me.
For thou hast been a strength to the poor,
A strength to the needy in his distress,
A refuge from the storm,
A shadow from the heat,
When the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall.
A one-two punch,
When I didn’t have adequate sleep,
And I read about injustice to the poor,
Until everything in me, and in my life,
And in the world at large felt broken,
I came to read in the book of Isaiah,
Hesitant.
God met me.
For thou hast been a strength to the poor,
A strength to the needy in his distress,
A refuge from the storm,
A shadow from the heat,
When the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall.
Miscommunication
After a hard morning’s work cleaning up the barn,
The three good workers came inside.
I made an iced lemonade for them to enjoy,
And as I poured the drink into glasses,
I thought that my son should put away the computer,
Lest it be accidentally inundated.
I dismissed this fleeting thought.
You know what happens next.
As the wave of spilled lemonade flowed across the table
And soaked the back of the computer,
I was beside myself with self-recrimination,
And shrieked with paralysis of uncertainty:
What to do first?
How to remediate this expensive disaster?
All of my anger was vented inward:
I saw this coming and ignored the warning.
My son, though, heard my scream
Differently.
He heard me screaming blame on him.
He heard me rejecting him.
This spill was not just financially expensive.
The three good workers came inside.
I made an iced lemonade for them to enjoy,
And as I poured the drink into glasses,
I thought that my son should put away the computer,
Lest it be accidentally inundated.
I dismissed this fleeting thought.
You know what happens next.
As the wave of spilled lemonade flowed across the table
And soaked the back of the computer,
I was beside myself with self-recrimination,
And shrieked with paralysis of uncertainty:
What to do first?
How to remediate this expensive disaster?
All of my anger was vented inward:
I saw this coming and ignored the warning.
My son, though, heard my scream
Differently.
He heard me screaming blame on him.
He heard me rejecting him.
This spill was not just financially expensive.
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Pray IV
He was supposed to speak at church that Sunday,
But the car ran out of gas
Some distance from the sanctuary.
What else was there to do
But push it?
A member of the congregation called to him
As he passed a filling station.
“Why do you not stop and fill up?”
“Oh, no,” he said. “I’m much too late.
That would take too much time.”
Of course, this would never happen.
But do we, perhaps, perversely persist
In pushing the car in our own strength
Instead of stopping to refuel?
But the car ran out of gas
Some distance from the sanctuary.
What else was there to do
But push it?
A member of the congregation called to him
As he passed a filling station.
“Why do you not stop and fill up?”
“Oh, no,” he said. “I’m much too late.
That would take too much time.”
Of course, this would never happen.
But do we, perhaps, perversely persist
In pushing the car in our own strength
Instead of stopping to refuel?
Pray III
And the soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head and arrayed him in a purple robe.
Picture two hands.
You are the left.
God is the right.
Similar, but different.
You are filled with thorns.
It hurts too much to clasp the hands in prayer!
The left hand alone cannot remove the thorns.
But the right hand can!
And did.
And so we clasp ourselves to God in prayer,
Folded together,
One.
Pray II
Andrew, age six, visited his grandparents’ farm.
He sat on Grandpa’s lap and “helped” drive the tractor.
“Oh, Andrew, we’ll miss you when you leave!
How will we be able to manage without your help?”
Home again, Andrew prayed for his grandparents
Who were just barely getting by without him.
This is adorable, marvelous.
We laugh and savor the sweetness.
And then God says to us,
“And you think that you must run my world.
Don’t you see that I drive my tractor,
That I own the farm, and you ride along?
Sweet child, sit on my lap
And let me enjoy your company.”
He sat on Grandpa’s lap and “helped” drive the tractor.
“Oh, Andrew, we’ll miss you when you leave!
How will we be able to manage without your help?”
Home again, Andrew prayed for his grandparents
Who were just barely getting by without him.
This is adorable, marvelous.
We laugh and savor the sweetness.
And then God says to us,
“And you think that you must run my world.
Don’t you see that I drive my tractor,
That I own the farm, and you ride along?
Sweet child, sit on my lap
And let me enjoy your company.”
Pray I
Believers prayed and God answered,
Several score of specific requests a week,
Carefully charted and happily shared.
Then God stopped answering,
Or, perversely, answered the opposite.
The couples divorced. The people died.
“Does it pay to pray?” asked a man to the pastor,
Who was already feeling discouraged by the lack of results.
The pastor stopped. And thought.
Whether it pays to pray or not doesn’t really matter,
He realized. Does it pay to talk to your friends?
We don’t talk to our friends in order to get something.
We don’t chart the responses.
We talk because we like relationship.
And sometimes we speak of the gifts given,
Of the answers received,
Because we know they come from love, not transaction.
Several score of specific requests a week,
Carefully charted and happily shared.
Then God stopped answering,
Or, perversely, answered the opposite.
The couples divorced. The people died.
“Does it pay to pray?” asked a man to the pastor,
Who was already feeling discouraged by the lack of results.
The pastor stopped. And thought.
Whether it pays to pray or not doesn’t really matter,
He realized. Does it pay to talk to your friends?
We don’t talk to our friends in order to get something.
We don’t chart the responses.
We talk because we like relationship.
And sometimes we speak of the gifts given,
Of the answers received,
Because we know they come from love, not transaction.
Game with Minutes
In high school I heard
Of Frank Laubach,
Who challenged believers
To think of God
Once a minute,
Every minute;
A “Game with Minutes.”
This always felt like death to me,
Trying and always, always failing
To keep Christ in mind.
I realize now that
I hate games.
I hate playing them
Because if I don’t lose,
Someone else will.
So while this game should have sounded
Enjoyable, delightful, encouraging,
To me it just said
Loser.
Of Frank Laubach,
Who challenged believers
To think of God
Once a minute,
Every minute;
A “Game with Minutes.”
This always felt like death to me,
Trying and always, always failing
To keep Christ in mind.
I realize now that
I hate games.
I hate playing them
Because if I don’t lose,
Someone else will.
So while this game should have sounded
Enjoyable, delightful, encouraging,
To me it just said
Loser.
Book Review
I realized today
Why I have shelves and shelves
Of books to review
That I’m indifferent to.
I immediately go through all.
Whether because of quality of writing
Or subject matter,
Many I can discard in minutes.
Others offer enjoyment enough
To actually read (or at least skim).
But the ones that weren’t bad enough to toss,
Nor good enough to enticingly cry, “Read me!” …
Those ones get shuffled to the shelves
Of forgetfulness,
Silent sentinels of procrastination and indecision.
Why I have shelves and shelves
Of books to review
That I’m indifferent to.
I immediately go through all.
Whether because of quality of writing
Or subject matter,
Many I can discard in minutes.
Others offer enjoyment enough
To actually read (or at least skim).
But the ones that weren’t bad enough to toss,
Nor good enough to enticingly cry, “Read me!” …
Those ones get shuffled to the shelves
Of forgetfulness,
Silent sentinels of procrastination and indecision.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
What Would That Be Like?
I overheard Phil reading a book about prayer
To the older boys today.
The author asked whether
A full-time worship leader
Or a full-time prayer warrior
Would be better for a church.
This was not something I had ever
Considered.
What do you think?
To the older boys today.
The author asked whether
A full-time worship leader
Or a full-time prayer warrior
Would be better for a church.
This was not something I had ever
Considered.
What do you think?
This Might Explain Some Things
Joe sleeps on a mat by our bed.
He falls asleep in minutes,
Once he settles in,
But if he sleeps in his room on his own mattress,
It takes him hours to settle in.
I am not sure if
Adjusting to a mattress has been hard,
Or if trying to sleep apart from us has been hard.
In either case, he stays nearby.
Tonight I was emailing, working,
Doing my normal computer thing after his bedtime,
And he was chatting away about Duplo creations,
And none of it really made much sense to me.
But for some reason I stopped and
Really looked at him.
“Do you think I’m listening to you?”
“Not really. But I don’t think Daddy usually does, either.”
Oh, my heart.
Let me resolve to set aside my work and petty tasks,
And look into the eyes of my son
And cherish these days
Where he still wants to tell me
About his Duplo creations.
He falls asleep in minutes,
Once he settles in,
But if he sleeps in his room on his own mattress,
It takes him hours to settle in.
I am not sure if
Adjusting to a mattress has been hard,
Or if trying to sleep apart from us has been hard.
In either case, he stays nearby.
Tonight I was emailing, working,
Doing my normal computer thing after his bedtime,
And he was chatting away about Duplo creations,
And none of it really made much sense to me.
But for some reason I stopped and
Really looked at him.
“Do you think I’m listening to you?”
“Not really. But I don’t think Daddy usually does, either.”
Oh, my heart.
Let me resolve to set aside my work and petty tasks,
And look into the eyes of my son
And cherish these days
Where he still wants to tell me
About his Duplo creations.
Sobremesa
Loosely translating the
Untranslatable,
The time spent
After a meal
Talking with those
You shared the meal with.
Or, as my friend said,
Basically the majority
Of every Lykosh house party.
Untranslatable,
The time spent
After a meal
Talking with those
You shared the meal with.
Or, as my friend said,
Basically the majority
Of every Lykosh house party.
Hebron
When he was 85,
Caleb son of Jephunneh said
To Joshua son of Nun,
“Give me this mountain.”
And Caleb went and drove out the Anakim,
Giants dwelling in Hebron.
Hebron became his inheritance,
And the land had rest from war.
Seven chapters later,
The children of Israel set aside cities
For the Levites,
And cities of refuge for the man-slayers.
Some are clearly set aside by lot,
And some are not so clear,
Sounding more as if they were simply chosen
Arbitrarily.
One of these is Hebron.
“But the fields of the city,
And the villages thereof,
Gave they to Caleb the son of Jephunneh
For his possession.”
Translation: Caleb single-handedly drove out the giants
And they took his city but left him some fields.
Excellent.
And better yet, Hebron was given not only to the Levites
But, as a city of refuge,
It became the haven for the man slayers
And killers waiting for trial.
I had never noticed that before.
I had hoped that Caleb,
Rich in strength and filled with trust,
Lived happily ever after on his mountain,
Not subjected to some early form of eminent domain
And surrounded by unsavories
Who were too weak and unfaithful to join him in battle.
I’m just being honest.
But this initial reaction was a divine set-up.
Because, really, what would I want for godly Caleb?
A life of increasing wealth and private satisfaction,
A fairy-tale existence of blessing?
Or a life spent with the servants of God, ministering to them?
And a life spent in ministry to those in shock,
The refugees whose world unexpectedly went wrong?
Whether Hebron was given by lot by God,
Or seized by eminent domain by cowards,
No longer is my critical issue.
Rather, what does one do with the spoiling of one’s goods?
What does one do with a life that doesn’t go as expected?
Caleb son of Jephunneh said
To Joshua son of Nun,
“Give me this mountain.”
And Caleb went and drove out the Anakim,
Giants dwelling in Hebron.
Hebron became his inheritance,
And the land had rest from war.
Seven chapters later,
The children of Israel set aside cities
For the Levites,
And cities of refuge for the man-slayers.
Some are clearly set aside by lot,
And some are not so clear,
Sounding more as if they were simply chosen
Arbitrarily.
One of these is Hebron.
“But the fields of the city,
And the villages thereof,
Gave they to Caleb the son of Jephunneh
For his possession.”
Translation: Caleb single-handedly drove out the giants
And they took his city but left him some fields.
Excellent.
And better yet, Hebron was given not only to the Levites
But, as a city of refuge,
It became the haven for the man slayers
And killers waiting for trial.
I had never noticed that before.
I had hoped that Caleb,
Rich in strength and filled with trust,
Lived happily ever after on his mountain,
Not subjected to some early form of eminent domain
And surrounded by unsavories
Who were too weak and unfaithful to join him in battle.
I’m just being honest.
But this initial reaction was a divine set-up.
Because, really, what would I want for godly Caleb?
A life of increasing wealth and private satisfaction,
A fairy-tale existence of blessing?
Or a life spent with the servants of God, ministering to them?
And a life spent in ministry to those in shock,
The refugees whose world unexpectedly went wrong?
Whether Hebron was given by lot by God,
Or seized by eminent domain by cowards,
No longer is my critical issue.
Rather, what does one do with the spoiling of one’s goods?
What does one do with a life that doesn’t go as expected?
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