Theophostic Prayer for Me

The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.

Phil and I talked at length,
Trying to figure out
Direction for the farm.
What do we invest in?
What would allow the boys to learn?
To earn?

In the end, I grew too agitated
To continue the talk,
Overwhelmed with the ways
This farming life has disappointed.

While Phil took the boys to hike the land,
I went out into the brisk midday
And sat for a time in peace,
And dealt with God.

“I feel like you brought us here
And then left us alone.”

My child, I will never leave you
Or forsake you.

While my eyes stayed shut,
Then came a breeze,
And what came to mind was,
A line from the gospel of John and
“You cannot see the wind,
Only the effects of the wind.”

Then I opened my eyes
And my entire vision was captured
By falling leaves
In the sunshine and shadow of the forest floor.

But into this transcendence
I thought again of all the failures,
And I sobbed with all the sorrow
Of year after year of trial and failure.
“We are idiots! Nothing has come out
Anything like the books claim!”

I am teaching you things you can’t learn in books.
Like: how to listen to me.
You have been amply provided for.

All of this is true.

And if it isn’t precise direction for the future,
It is solace for the frustrations of the past.

Thanks be to God.