Confused

Awake through the night,
I thought about the things that
Went wrong.
The random ram who showed up
From, literally, God knows where,
And leapt into me.

Gored by a cow.

The hive after hive that failed,
From extreme weather and
Insufficient experience and
New baby distraction and
Weak queens.

The lambs that died in birth and
Early childhood.

The chickens that died
From heatstroke,
Dog attack,
Fox attack.

The chicks who carried a virus
That made them infertile
And struck our laying hens infertile
Overnight.

The trees that don’t thrive.

We tried so, so many things.
We were as faithful
To our call
As we knew how to be.

From a farming perspective,
It made no difference.

I suppose I can be thankful
I’m not awake in the night often
To think about these things.