Pizza Compliments

Abraham, imitating Zits: “Thanks, Mom. Dinner didn’t suck.”

Caleb: “Thanks, Mom. Dinner did suck!”

Abraham: “No, Caleb!”

Caleb: “Yes! Today is turn-around day.”

Chuckling

Reading through The Squire’s Tales, 

Books 1 and 2,

Joe keeps chuckling out loud,

The perfect response 

To the sly sense of humor.

They aren’t perfect books,

But they are deeply satisfying.

Flat Tire

I had prayed for protection

So when the call came

That the chipper tire was flat,

And it would be a few hours delay,

I felt frustrated momentarily,

Then realized: I didn’t know the whole story.

Tire went flat on a stretch of road

Notorious for bad cell coverage—

And Phil had connectivity.

He had space to pull over, 

Not on a blind corner.

Martin was dropping off wood

For a fellow tree guy,

Who happened to have the jack they needed.

Mollie was home to take photos of tires . . .

And the truck tire matched what was needed,

So Martin drove to exchange tires.

It was an inconvenience, but it was covered.

Back to It

I am almost in tears.

After two weeks with

No vision therapy,

No reading practice,

I wish more than I can say

That this was all over.

I just want a reader.

Read!

As much as possible,

I read The Squire’s Tale.

Joe still came looking for me

Every twenty minutes

To ask me to 

Keep reading.

Glitter

Caleb came in,

Cheeks aglow.

“I caught four fireflies!”

Somehow he still held them,

Uncrushed, in the cave of his little hands.

And he released them all

In the house.

The overhead lights were on,

For we were reading and working yet,

And I saw only one feeble glow

As the four flew.

But Caleb’s enthusiasm overflowed.

“We have glitter! We have glitter!”

He clapped 

And danced 

And crooned

And spun.

Rejoicing and celebrating

The magic of

Creation.

The Mice in the Piano

I liked this sermon illustration.

The mice in the piano enjoyed the music.

One day, an adventurous mouse

Climbed up and realized that strings

Were the thing

Creating the music.

Later, another climbed and brought back

Stories of hammers and complexity.

And so the mice ignored the player,

Focusing on the mechanism.

But all the time the player kept on playing.

Too Much in My Own Head

In the past, I have sometimes given up on prayer

Because I get too much in my own head,

Until I feel a bit neurotic—

Confused and guilty and upset—

Which is not part of my normal life.

It happened again.

I had forgotten.

How Are You Doing?

When I said, “It’s an interesting question . . .”

Phil started laughing and said,

“It’s not really an interesting question,

Rather fairly mundane,

But your state of uncertainty

Or complexity

Might make it feel interesting.”

Protection

Praying for protection,

I started crying.

There’s a place a mile from here,

That does Native American drumming

Every Saturday night.

I wonder now . . . 

Did that begin

The year of death, here on the farm?

That horrible 2012, when I despaired?

Or was it even before that,

Spirits of disobedience and destruction at work?

I wept over horrible words that felt true:

Destruction

Death

Despair

Disappointment

Discouragement

Devastation

Depression

All those D-words, the fruit of the

Devil.

Thanks be to God who gives the victory

Through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Friendship

A book said, “You need to have friends.”

And I can intellectually assent.

How pleasant, to have some people 

With whom you want to unwind, 

And have a good time.

The support system to bring you meals 

When you are sick.

But now I wonder if the thing is 

Lifetime friends, 

Because they will help you see 

The truth about yourself 

And remind you of your identity.

Or maybe this is why we need communities, 

To have some of a variety of those friendships. 

The soup-bringers and the truth-tellers.

Groundhog Day

Such a Christian movie,

This classic story

Of a man granted

An unwanted eternity.

Such a realistic journey,

From confusion

To hedonism and immorality

To wanting to bed the object of his desire,

Who rejects him . . . again and again, 

Seeing how selfish he is.

In despair, he tries to kill himself,

But always wakes up again.

Confiding in Rita,

She asks, “This is how you choose to spend eternity?”

Tossing cards into a hat, 

Learning trivia about the people around?

And so he turns over a new leaf:

Saving lives, helping old women in distress,

Taking up the piano,

Ice sculpting.

And it is only then, when he finds enjoyment

In life without Rita,

In being of service and in being kind

That his endless day ends to a new day.

Dishes

The dishes piled up

Half a week and more.

And so I served my son,

And washed the dishes.

Synonym

How to offer a homeopathic remedy

To someone unversed?

It’s not a drug, 

Since there’s no chemistry involved,

Though it often acts more strongly.

It’s not a balm, 

Since there’s no oil or lotion,

Though it often offers relief, comfort, succor.

It’s not exactly a treatment,

Which sounds long-term and vaguely threatening.

I’m offering a sugar pellet. “Treatment” sounds wrong.

It is a remedy,

A treatment.

Maybe the better word will yet come.

Wright Brothers Memorial

IN COMMEMORATION 

OF THE CONQUEST OF THE AIR

BY THE BROTHERS WILBUR AND ORVILLE WRIGHT 

CONCEIVED BY GENIUS 

ACHIEVED BY DAUNTLESS RESOLUTION 

AND UNCONQUERABLE FAITH

Spelling

Caleb

Mome

dad tef

ritinbi Caleb

Caleb

Mommy

Dad teeth

Written by Caleb

Covered

I prayed, and looked at rentals.

Then chose one rental on the spur-of-the-moment.

They were all starting to run together.

I was sure that I would get to stay there that same day,

That we wouldn’t need to stay in a hotel.

So when, right before we left, the notice came:

“Come tomorrow; we’re full tonight,”

I was devastated.

I was looking for guidance! Had I not asked correctly? Or enough?

In retrospect, I can see:

We needed to stay in a hotel so I could get 

The Guide to the Outer Banks,

And all the little cards from the hotel lobby,

To help guide my thinking and clarify the plan.

And the Lord opened up the hotel fridge 

So none of our food went bad, despite 21 hours between houses.

In retrospect, I can see:

Even without linens, even with weird spiritual elements,

The house was absolutely perfect 

In location, in a beautiful shaded neighborhood, 

Close but not too close to the things we wished to do;

In situation, across the street from the sound,

That gorgeous body of water, 

Where the children happily played before breakfast and bed,

With the peace of two beautiful sunsets for the two nights we were there.

Thanks be to God.

Practice in Prayer

Healing prayer for Jonelle’s neighbor Rosie,

Who fell from a second story window and lived.

Guidance prayer as we went on vacation,

Needing food, lodging, wisdom to navigate a new place.

Deliverance prayer for the rape that happened in the house,

That the spirits would leave, that healing, forgiveness, and restoration would commence.

Detailed prayers to teach the children—

Request all that you want!

Discretionary Spending

Some people spend $30 on their nails

Every six to eight weeks.

Some get their hair cut and colored

Every six weeks—that’s at least $130.

Some people like clothes,

And buy things to make them feel cute.

While those aren’t bad,

They aren’t for me.

If I have discretionary spending,

I’d prefer learning opportunities!

Tick After Tick

Jackson,

Natalia,

Amy.

The Farm

Talking it out, I realize that I am 

Not a farmer.

I will never be a farmer.

And that’s okay.

I have other giftings.

My Genes Fit Right

I confessed that I feared 

I had missed the maternal instinct gene.

I enjoy my children, 

And I’m sure I will miss them,

But I don’t feel this quite so passionately

As it seems most women do.

My friend said,

“Or maybe you’re just balanced,

And that you are you,

And you have interests besides your children.

Maybe it’s a sign of health,

Or at least of individuality.”

Whether she’s right or not,

I like that way of thinking!

Pinch

I think it was C.S. Lewis who said

That we should live with a pinch. 

And Phil and I did, for years,

Giving to the point of just a bit of pain.

Until one day I realized I didn’t like being pinched,

And although I didn’t go hedonistic crazy,

I certainly haven’t been living 

A life of abundant generosity.

So it is interesting to think:

What if the call was not to be pinched,

But to give towards the greater?

What if we spent on imperishables?

What would it look like to flourish with money?

Money

My friend said,

“I thought I was minimalist.

But my dad left me money when he died,

And when that came . . . 

I was able to quit work. 

I was able to buy time.

I was able to finish a house,

And not fret if it doesn’t sell right away.

I realize now that I love money . . .

And I’m not sure I want to ever be without.

Gut-Wrenching Prayer

Jesus, teaching on the Sabbath,

Saw a woman, bent for eighteen years.

“Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.”

And she straightened up and praised God.

When those around said, 

“Let her come on one of the other days,”

Jesus replied:

“You hypocrites! You care for your animals every day!

Then should not this woman,

A daughter of Abraham, 

Whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, 

Be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?”

God in heaven, my friend

Has been bound with infertility

For thirteen years or so.

This day, set her free from her infirmity.”

A Dream

My friend said,

At the end of her visit:

I dreamed I was in a foreign country,

In the house of suffering, along with many other women.

I had been raped and was carrying suffering’s child.

Then I somehow escaped with the Man of Sorrows.

I’m not sure it was Jesus, but it might have been.

We went down many streets, 

Through many crowds,

When the man turned to me and said,

“We must return to the house of suffering.”

I did not want to go back, but we returned.

The house had been ransacked in our absence.

Just one woman was there, hiding in a corner,

Weeping. 

Then the picture faded to black, with the word on the screen:

CHENIA.

I couldn’t get that word out of my mind.

When I looked it up, it’s a girl’s name,

The Hebrew word for 

Grace of God.

I’m not sure what this means, but I know it wasn’t from me.

Healer

My friend said,

“You are a healer.

And when I was coming down,

I came down, expecting

Healing.”

And I thought,

“Just yesterday I listened

To half a healing session.

I am prepared.”

Puzzle Pieces

I take 

Writing

Photography

Marketing

Homeopathy

Prayer

Health

Homeschooling

Hospitality

And wonder 

How these parts

Are meant to 

Fit together.

Because I suspect they are.

Trash Can Nachos

Pile nacho fixings,

With nacho cheese sauce,

Into a springform pan,

Invert and enjoy.

Wow!

Thankful

It’s a thriving,

Blooming 

Season.

Three Teenagers

Abraham joins the ranks

Of Jadon and Isaiah.

He’s mellow

And funny

And (mostly) a joy.

Healing Prayer

Some years ago, 

I remember doing healing prayer

And feeling like a straw, 

A small conduit of God’s grace.

And I cried out to God,

Saying, “Please! I want more!”

And he said,

“If I give you more,

You’ll burst. 

Wait, and grow into 

A pipeline.”

Praying yesterday,

I felt the release:

You have grown into a pipeline.

It wasn’t intentional.

I don’t feel like I’ve really 

DONE

Anything.

But I am humbled 

And proud

And maybe a bit overwhelmed

But also ready.

Maybe That’s the Point

For some reason, 

Even though I know I’m supposed to trust,

And even though I thought I was okay at it,

I remember the shame of completely failing in trust.

This was some years ago now, 

And I don’t remember details,

Just the fury over having been pushed so far,

And having failed the test.

But, as my friend pointed out,

Maybe that’s the point. 

It’s not up to us. 

We rest on the grace of God,

Which undergirds us

No matter what.

I’m So Sorry

It wasn’t until after you left

That I remembered that

You like 10 hours of sleep.

And you had, maybe 5

Since we stayed up until 2am,

Talking in hushed voices.

I blithely told you my potential

Brand name,

Mater Matters,

Without thinking how that would

Exclude you . . .

Until the words left my mouth.

I didn’t think to warn you 

That healing prayer

Is tiring,

That I don’t have it all figured out,

That I need to be listening

And learn to take risks, too.

I think I was in need of a sounding board.

I don’t have that, really, here in Virginia.

I didn’t expect to share

And share

And share

But I’ve had so many realizations,

So many swirling thoughts,

It was a relief to get them out.

Writing

Some days, I want to do nothing

But write

And write

And write.

Saddened

I was seeking to remember when

I first heard about 

Christian Healing Ministries,

And I unexpectedly found a note

From a friend who had asked 

If I would attend a conference with her.

But I had Caleb as a young nursing infant, 

And couldn’t go . . .

And she died less than a year later.

Oh, Death, I look forward to the day

When there is 

No 

More 

Sting.

Heart-Broken

The first question in the training:

How many of you, as a child,

Had your father pray over you 

When you were sick?

Ten in almost 300.

And mothers?

Thirty in almost 300.

I’m not sure my boys would say yes.

I turn to homeopathy 

First.

Healing Prayer

I was suddenly burdened

To listen again

To the healing prayer teaching

I listened to 

Five years ago now.

This time, 

Rather than listening,

Half-distracted,

While I cook,

I’m actually taking notes.

Hidden Smile

When you’re five,

Apparently

Skink

Sound a lot like

Stink.

So it’s interesting to 

Listen to 

Retellings.

Small, Striped Snake

Caleb ran inside, 

Scared of the

Small, striped snake

With blue

Outside by the back of the house.

It wasn’t until many, many photos later

That I suddenly remembered

The blue-tailed skink.

Not quite a snake, 

But easy enough to mistake

When quick-moving

And partially hidden by foliage.

Almost a Month

Three days less than a month

Since the last box of review books

Arrived. I’ve had good focus,

And a chance to clear my storage area,

But I welcomed the box of randomness.

Good hope for a few, amidst

Many silly and disappointing.

Cuba

One man had the vision

To bring his nation to God,

Family by family.

Use your circle of influence!

Teach your children!

So convicted. So blessed.