Communion

Although we don’t believe
The wine literally becomes blood,

To say that it is “just a symbol”
Sells the symbol short.

A symbol has meaning.
It represents something. It exists.

Between the poles of
Literal and nothing,

I choose a third way,
That of mystery and something.

Could Not Compute

This week I suddenly remembered
Our first year here,
Our first accident, when
A 35 pound weight, driven full force,
Rebounded and hit Phil in the head.

Blood, concussion, cries of,
“Why didn’t you come when I called?”
My anguished response:
“I didn’t hear you!”

I had asked for protection for our family, our farm,
Every day.
That day I had wondered if I treated this prayer as a mantra,
More a magic charm than an earnest request.
And what if I missed a day?

I already deal with issues with being perfect!

The idea that, through my oversight,
One day of imperfection,
I might cause the injury of those I love
Or maybe death …
That could not compute.

I did not ask for that kind of pressure.
I could not handle the idea of that level of
Malicious resistance.

I quit praying.

Almost six years later, that memory resurfaced.
Still painful, still confusing.

Jesus, what do you have to say to my confusion and pain?

It is not your responsibility, nor ability, to keep your family safe.
God’s purposes go forward.
There wasn’t someone there to help you process your confusion.
It is not your fault.

Waiting

A friend is estranged from his parents.
They will see each other face to face
Soon.

As a mother, I think about that mother,
Waiting to see the face of her son
Again.

I hope she will be glad to see his face.
I hope that God will be present
There.

A Gift

If you have a friend you can

Talk with
Cry with
Pray with
Laugh with

Count yourself blessed.

Two Flashlights

If I turned on two flashlights
And pressed their lenses together,
The world would not be brighter,
Since all the light from those two
Would be turned inward.

The world needs more light.

If you have light, shed it abroad.

Berry Tarts

An elderly guest lost his way trying to find jam tarts.
My friend drove him where he needed to go.

“I’m done with school and not sure what I’m doing next.”
“What is God telling you to do?”

“I think he’s telling me to stay where I am.”
“I think God is telling me that he’ll bless your house.”

My friend is moving into an underprivileged neighborhood,
In an act of intentional community and risk.

The elderly guest knew none of that.
Paul says: Despise not prophesyings.

We receive this word with joy.

Siblings

And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.

In context, Jesus’ followers
Were to avoid language of
Rabbi, Father, Master.

In our little enclave of followers,
I have thought of myself as a mother.
This is wrong.

Better to think of myself as a sister,
Maybe an older sister,
For we are all children.

I mentally recalibrate
Appropriate responsibility.
God is a better parent.