Lug Nuts

Driving around near D.C.,
Discombobulated and distracted,
I thought how thankful I was
That my tires did not suddenly
Roll off. Thank God for his protection.

In a distant part of the state,
Phil dropped off two cows.
Stopped at a stop sign, a glint
And a clink caught his eye and his ear.
A lug nut went rolling past.

The shop that recently replaced two tires
Had not tightened the lug nuts enough.
One was missing. All others were loose.

This was not the day my husband died.
Thank God for his protection.

Not Growthful

My friend, having grieved infertility for years,
Said that, for the first time, she could hold in tension

Both the grief of that one dream unfulfilled
And the opportunity of all other dreams possible.

She called that growth. In Christianese: improvement.

But I reject the idea that grief was the wrong response
That she corrected with greater maturity,

Rather than a right response to a legitimate sorrow
That, in the fullness of time, now allows space for the next thing.

It is still faithful to enter into mourning.

Boys in the Pool

In June, I brought the boys to a pool.

In descending age,
Two were happy to get in.
One sat forlornly on the steps.
One refused to enter even to ankles.
And one sobbed hysterically if he touched water.
It was unpleasant.

So what a surprise today to find three children
Transformed.

The two happy poolers were still happy.

But the forlorn now bopped around happily,
Both with a pool noodle and without.

The refuser not only sat right down on the step
Although he had intended to do nothing but
Dip his feet, but he gradually, over an hour or two,
Went in to waist, then neck, until he was blowing
Bubbles, and going underwater. Unheard of.

And as for the hysterical sobber? He didn’t let out a peep,
But sat in my arms, with water up to his chest or his neck,
And occasionally bent his face and came up sputtering,
As he does in the bathtub in an inch of water,
Testing, perhaps, whether underwater breathing is a
Developmental ability that he just needs to grow into,
Or maybe simply enjoying the feel of water on the face
And the choking that comes from not being able to breathe.
He sat until he was blue-lipped, but he still did not cry,

Enjoying a day at the pool.

Mount Vernon

I.
On this hot, humid day.
We sat a few minutes in the shade
Of the back veranda at Mount Vernon
And enjoyed the breeze wafting up
From the Potomac.

And I felt an entire vacation telescope
In that brief time of beauty and refreshment,
Restored in body, heart, and mind.

II.
Weeks now, Isaiah has been wishing for hamburgers.
After three sweaty hours, we sat in the food court
Enjoying bun-less burgers and fries.

In Abraham’s analogy,
Like wanderers in a desert that come across gold,

We felt far more gladness in that patty and potatoes
Than if we had not survived the fatigue before.

Second Definition

The second definition of “Lykoshing”:

An apology for something that requires no apology,
Like making hot dogs for a guest with mustard
Squirted in annoying globs instead of pretty lines,
Or when some beers are only cold but not chilled,
Because I didn’t put enough in the refrigerator.

I want my friends to be perfectly satisfied
And am acutely aware when all is not impeccable.
I wish that it was, and I’m sorry.

Fluid

“You’ve always been perfect to me,”
Said my friend, who knows (all too well)
That I’m not.

“But then, my definition of that is fluid.”

Two Mountains

Hebrews contrasts Mount Sinai,
A place of darkness and holy fear,

With Mount Zion, filled with
God and innumerable angels
And saints and
Jesus,

A crescendo of relationship and
Love.

On a day when my spirit drank in
My friend, my friends, my sons,
My sister, my spouse …

To say nothing of my
God …

I say with Caleb,

Give me that mountain.