Speeding

I woke at seven. Not long enough, but was there more time to sleep?
I didn’t think so.

We researched in the morning until we left.
Phil went to a specialist.
I filled the car’s tank and entertained boys.
We drove forty minutes
To a farm equipment dealer,
Spent a scant hour there,
Buying the equivalent of a car.
We raced back forty minutes
And arrived, to the minute,
When Phil was scheduled for a scan.
I drove across town to get takeout,
Back across town to get Phil,
Then drove the hour home.
Six hours, most of it spent speeding.

On reaching home, I wanted nothing
But a quiet room and a plate of food.

One friend, when she learned this tale,
Wrote, “days like this make me sure you're a superhero.”
Boosted my spirits.

And made me remember that I’m glad
My quiet room has email.

To Be Prayed For

This is what it’s like to be prayed for.

A setback of six months seems fine.
The pain of a fractured tibia seems manageable.
The complete change of life seems unimportant.

In short: we have peace.

The Way Forward

It has been a fear of mine
A half decade and more:
What will happen should
Phil be incapacitated?

And then, when it happened,
I was too ill to care.

One day, two, the cows have grazed
Their paddock, good boys
Going out to water once a day,
Without complaint.

But watering is one thing;
Moving cows is another.

Phil figured that a small
Utility vehicle
Could get him around,
Like a wheelchair for a farm.

We had looked at them for years,
But the time was never right to buy.

In the morning we did due diligence:
Craigslist, friend, dealer, rental;
Prayer.
And then we went out.

Hours later, we had the vehicle for Phil
That will prevent his imprisonment.

The Apple of Your Eye

As contemporary singers sing
The ancient Psalm:

“Keep me as the apple of your eye;
Hide me in the shadow of your wings,”

This plunges me, viscerally,
Into Holland in World War II,

Where in the street a German beat
A Jewish man with low IQ.

Daughter cried to father,
I pity him!

Looking at the German,
Father replied,

So do I, for they have touched
The apple of God’s eye.

Little Thing

Phil went alone into the hospital
While I went to get dinner.

He had a scan
And got some drugs

While I drove across town
And waited in line.

He finished first,
And went to get coffee …

Until he realized that,
With crutches,

He could not carry a cup.
He left without coffee.

It’s a big thing, to have only
One leg work.

It’s a little thing, to realize
You won’t carry anything

By hand
For the next few months.

Except it’s not a
Little thing.

Me, Overwhelmed

Five sons, none yet fed.
My sickness, not abated.
My face, allergen flared, flaming.
My hair, wild and tangled.

In short, this would not be
My choice
To show the world
What a family of Jesus-followers
Looks like.

Husband in the ER,
Texts not working.
But as noon approaches,
We must eat.

Try to get Chipotle:
New store not quite open.
I know of no other options
For actual food
On this side of the city.

“In my distress I cried out
To the LORD
And he answered me.”

A smoothie shop across the street
Sated our hunger and
Helped us survive another hour.

Responsibility Shift

When I have morning sickness,
I turn worthless for weeks,
Simply surviving.

Now Phil is down for a season.
And I realize that I will,
Take over the shopping.

I haven’t yet thought about the rest.
I liked our responsibility split
As it was

Before!